Play Therapy and Counseling Blog | Boulder, CO & Carmel, CA

by Megan Larson: For most of us the past month has been filled with considerably more screen time than usual…

In the realm of online learning, this is uncharted territory, especially for children who are already being stretched both psychologically and emotionally. Our bodies and minds are not used to this type of strain, so the question becomes: how do we consciously support both children and ourselves when most of our daily tasks are now in front of a computer?

As a play therapist and yoga teacher three things feel important: the breath, movement, and being in nature. Combining these three can help us to stay present and aware, while also navigating increased computer time.

To help children find their breath, it helps to collect or buy feathers! Have the child choose one to hold in their hand, then show them how to take a deep breaths in and blow out through the nose, while watching the feathers move. Repeat for 3-5 minutes. You can also make up your own breathing games with cotton balls and straws. The benefits of mindful breathing are vast, ranging from a reduction in anxiety to the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the body’s “rest and digest” system. It can help ground our bodies and bring us into the present moment, as it is easy to “float away” and experience mild disassociation from the virtual reality of the internet realm.

Depending on the age of the child, it can help to make the movement sessions a family experience. Any kind of movement is good: yoga poses, jump rope, tai chi, leap frog, dancing, etc. As you do it, focus attention on the breath, and while voicing how the movement feels in your body and the internal sensations. You can ask what’s happening for you inside? This helps to support healthy embodiment development for children and to help them develop a curiosity about their own body’s needs. Share with them how the movement feels, verbalize your experience and how you are caring for yourself.

Last but not least, find ways to connect with nature. This has the ability to help restore children’s attention and relieve stress. Being in nature is an easy way for children and adults to get in touch with their senses and present moment awareness. Nature allows the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s command center, to dial down and rest, like a tired muscle. Even if you live in a city and can’t travel there are many creative ways to get the healing benefits of connecting with the earth. In between screen time, catch some quick sunshine rays on the deck, lay on your backs watching the clouds, bugs or butterflies. Collect rocks outside, climb trees and make up silly songs about animals or flowers.

In this new age of new conditions, our task is to stay connected to ourselves, while teaching our children to do the same.

This post is to help parents dealing with at-home children who may be frightened, missing their friends, bored, or overwhelmed by quarantine. As a child therapist, I have been seeing children who are riding the waves of many different emotions; there are many unanswered questions and confusion. While there is a lot about the virus we cannot control, there are many things we can do. With intention and caring we can cultivate seeds of mindfulness to weather any storm, or in this case, the virus!

Here are some guidelines to help parents to cope during these unusual times:

1. Simplify. Allow yourself to let go of “should and ought to” around what needs to get done. This is a time to be more relaxed. Prioritize your needs and your child’s accordingly. Follow your own intuition around school schedules: if what is being asked feels too much, adjust it to flow with your family’s capabilities. Remember, you and your children are not defined by performance, and you do know best! Think in terms of finding ease and balance for everyone.

2. Practice compassion for both yourself and others. Everyone is in a state of massive transition and it’ll take time to adjust and reestablish a new “normal”. Instead of judging yourself, honor and accept your humanness. The truth of change is that it is a part of our shared human experience and we are in a time of tremendous change. It will take time for most of us to find our flow in the midst of this. Acknowledge your reality, rather than denying it. Compassion allows us to embrace and relate to ourselves and others with kindness. Some mantras to use: “May I be well, may I be happy, may all things go well for me” beginning with yourself and expanding this feeling of love to all others.

3. Authenticity! All different emotions will present themselves: grief, disappointment and frustration may arise, as cancelations become part of our reality, especially for children. Be present with the spectrum of feelings as they come. Get a feeling chart for the house as a way to expand social-emotional learning. Take turns naming emotions and model self care through breath and movement. Teach your children that feelings are like waves in the ocean that come and go. Some feelings cause small ripples, while others can feel like tsunamis. Normalize their feelings so they can have an integrated experience of life during this time.

4. Find joy and play! Use this time as an opportunity to find connection with yourself and your family. Bring play into everyday activities, such as cooking or cleaning. Listen to music together, pick a book and take turns reading parts of a story, or better yet, make your own quarantine story! Make sure that everyone is moving their bodies, even in small ways, to help soothe the nervous system. Get out twister, practice gentle yoga together, or make up games such leapfrog.

5. Remember to breathe. The breath is our doorway to liberation. It is with us our whole life and often doesn’t get enough attention, especially during times of crisis. Find your breath, then teach your children ways to find theirs and how to pay attention to it. Breathing balls, also known as Hoberman Spheres, can be a wonderful tool that captivates kids and helps them find their breath. Dedicate at least five minutes a day to slowing down and breathing together as a family.

Remember. this too shall pass.

This article was originally written by Megan Larson for Awaken.com

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